Honor What's Yours
How to protect your values in a world obsessed with visibility
The Pull to Be Seen
We live in a world that confuses visibility with value.
If it isn’t posted, it didn’t happen.
If it isn’t shared, it isn’t real.
If it doesn’t perform, it doesn't matter.
It’s easy to forget that privacy is not invisibility; it’s integrity.
The culture of more tells us to broadcast our becoming.
But real becoming happens in the dark, where no one claps and no one compares.
That’s where roots grow.
Becoming Without an Audience
When I first left my director role, I felt a constant tug to prove I was still somebody.
Two weeks in, I opened LinkedIn and started typing:
“Excited to share that I’m stepping into a new chapter of intentional…”
I deleted it.
“After 5 years of leadership, I’m taking time to…”
Deleted again.
What I wanted to say was: “I quit, and I don’t know what’s next, and I’m terrified and also relieved, and maybe I made a huge mistake.”
But that wasn’t LinkedIn-appropriate.
So I kept drafting versions that sounded strategic, like I had a plan.
Then I heard a voice I couldn’t ignore:
You don’t owe them your becoming in real time.
So I closed the app.
For months, I stayed quiet.
Friends asked what I was doing.
Former colleagues wondered if I’d disappeared.
The silence felt like erasure at first.
Like if I wasn’t announcing it, it wasn’t real.
But something unexpected happened in that stillness.
I found my voice again.
Not the voice that performed for engagement.
The voice that actually sounded like me.
Silence isn’t absence; it’s ownership.
The Coordinate: Honor What’s Yours
In the ENOUGH Compass, Honor What’s Yours means live from your values, not the algorithm.
This is where scarcity and sufficiency truly split apart.
Scarcity needs witnesses.
It says: share to prove you matter, post to stay relevant, perform to earn belonging. Your worth requires constant validation.
Sufficiency trusts what’s unseen.
It says: you matter whether anyone’s watching or not. Your worth isn’t up for debate.
Ask yourself:
Am I expressing this because it’s true or because it’ll be seen?
Does this reflect my values or my conditioning?
What do I want to protect from the noise?
Honoring what’s yours is choosing depth over display.
A Real Example
Three months after leaving my director role, I had a catch-up call with someone who’d been on my team.
They still worked at the company. I didn’t.
The question came immediately: “So what are you doing? What’s next?”
Old me would have had a polished answer ready. A narrative that sounded strategic. Something impressive.
Instead, I told the truth: “I don’t know. And I’m not doing anything until the next step feels right.”
Silence on the other end.
Then: “That’s…really honest.”
And something shifted.
We spent the rest of the call talking about everything except work.
Their new baby. Sleep deprivation. The strange beauty of 3 AM feedings.
What it’s like watching someone become a person.
An hour later, when we hung up, I sat there thinking:
This is what I’d been missing.
When they reported to me, every conversation had an agenda. Performance reviews. Project updates with strategic alignment.
We couldn’t just…talk.
And I realized: I’d loved leading teams for the connection, not the authority.
But I’d never had access to that deeper connection while holding the title.
You can’t use someone else’s map of success to find your own.
The Cost of Constant Exposure
There are parts of you that are not meant for public consumption.
When everything is shared, nothing feels sacred.
When every thought is optimized for engagement, truth starts performing too.
Boundaries aren’t barriers to connection; they’re sanctuaries that protect it.
They keep your energy available for what you actually care about.
Some things bloom better unphotographed.
Some insights strengthen in silence.
Some seasons are meant to be lived, not documented.
You can still build and grow without narrating every step.
Practice for the Week
This week, before you share anything (an idea, a story, a decision, a photo) pause and ask:
Who is this for?
Notice what comes up:
For me = authentic expression
For connection = reaching out genuinely
To prove I’m okay = performing wellness
So people don’t forget about me = fear of invisibility
Because everyone else is = social pressure
If the answer isn’t “me” or “genuine connection with someone I care about,” consider keeping it.
Protecting what’s yours isn’t about never sharing.
It’s about not giving your truth away for approval.
That’s your compass.
You’re already holding it.
Exhale.
P.S. What’s one part of your life you’ve decided to keep private lately?